2005 Grey Cup

Just got back from Wheatley where I was watching the Grey Cup. It was one hell of a game, with everything a football fan could want.

I only had two complaints, and they both had nothing to do with football, but rather with music.

First, Jully Black "performed" the National Anthem. And I chose the word performed intentionally to raise this point: Anthems should not be performed, they should be sung. It was nowhere near as bad as some anthem performances I've heard, but why do people feel the need to overkill it?

The second complaint was the half time show. I was impressed that the CFL was able to get the Black Eyed Peas to perform live, but maybe you should actually watch these bands perform live before hiring them, because they absolutely sucked. I used to respect them as a band, but in the last month any interest I might have had in them is gone. They've written some good music, but if you can't perform live then there's no point as far as I'm concerned. I even caught the girl in the band lip synching. Here's a tip. If you're going to lip synch, then maybe the track you're lip synching to should sound good. That "My Humps" song was almost enough to make me hate them, but this "performance" pushed it over the top.

Fortunately, a great game kept the focus on the field.

"Religions"

Which religion do you subscribe to:

Last Thursdayism (the belief that the world was created last Thursday)
The Invisible Pink Unicorn (how can a unicorn be pink AND invisible...hmm)
Flying Spaghetti Monsterism (may you be forever touched by his noodly appendage)

And if those don't float your boat, you can always try Open Source Religion

And no, I'm not making this up, click the links to see for yourself.

Another crazy idea

I think this is my best one yet.

We need stores that prohibit Christmas shopping. I just spent two hours trying to shop at two different stores for non-christmas related things (cleaning supplies, hygiene stuff, etc). I only bought maybe 8 items total, but by the time it was over I was ready to hit people. I have a question. When a person is driving down the street and they see something interesting, it's generally not a good idea to stop in the middle of the road to look at it. So what makes it okay with a shopping cart? Why do people not get it. You ask them to move, and they just stand there. How can these people have drivers licenses if they can't even operate a shopping cart?Then when you get to the checkout, there's the person who stands there doing nothing while their 83 items are scanned, then only when they are told the total do they begin to get out their wallet/purse/whatever. Shopping isn't that complicated people. If you want to browse the store I have no problem with that.

Just get the hell out of my way.

How fast can you click?

Click Click Click

See how fast you can click your mouse. It's exciting I tells ya!

BTW, my high score is 65, but now my finger is tired.

Jokes

TEXAN: "Where are you from?"

HARVARD GRAD: "I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions."

TEXAN: "OK - where are you from, jackass?"

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen.” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “That driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”

Unending Wisdom

"A pool is the place where water is".

I love marking tests.

Why can't I do cool research like this?

It seems that researchers have discovered that monkeys will "pay" to watch "images of high-ranking monkeys and female hindquarters".

Monkey Pay-Per-View

It does have practical uses in Autism studies, but it's humourous nonetheless.

Monster Mash

For anyone who watches SportsCenter on TSN, they've been milking this for the past week or so. But considering the audience of my blog, that amounts to zero of you, so I thought I'd share.

Bobby Brown and Mike Tyson sing Monster Mash

Mythbusters

This might be the most entertaining show on TV. These guys have the greatest job.

Where else could you learn that you can't glide off of a tall building using a sheet of plywood, or that a tissue box isn't a lethal projectile in a high-speed head-on collision?

Man banned from electric wheelchair

Some guy in Germany got a DUI while in his electric wheelchair. He's been told he cannot use an electric wheelchair for the next three months, only a normal/manual one.

Link